We’re Dan and Noreen

There is a secretary that calls our house sometimes. Nerdguy often answers the phone because I have a crippling phone phobia am busy.  Almost without fail, she thinks that it is me answering the phone.  At first I thought that she was just oblivious, or rude (because she is), and that there was no way that Nerdguy and I sound the same.  But then I started telling people about it.  You know that point in the story when you pause at the end waiting for their outraged cries of “She’s an idiot!” or “Someone took one too many hits of the crack pipe!”?  But no one was saying any of this.  There was just slow blinking, and awkward silence.  The first time I said it I figured that the person I was telling just didn’t recognize the obvious signs of a crack smoker when they heard them.  But then it happened again.  And again.

MY GOD!

We are Dan and Noreen from Seinfeld!!!  The couple who sound exactly the same.  In case you haven’t seen that episode (in which case you are dead to me), it’s the one where Elaine calls her friend Noreen to ask her why she hit on Jerry, but she was actually talking to Dan.  Every time she tried to fix her screw-up, she just made things worse.  I think Elaine and I were separated at birth.

But Nerdguy is not a high-talker by any means.  I know I have a low, yet also screechy somehow, voice, but I didn’t think I sounded like a man!  I have the moustache of one, and I hate sappy movies, but COME ON!

I managed to put it to the back of my mind (where all the important tasks I am supposed to complete are huddled together, while facebook and WebMD searches occupy the front three quarters).

But then today the mechanic called.

I answered.

“Hello, Nerdguy?”

“No, this is Tara.”

Stunned “Oh!” with an air of “Are you sure?”

I sure hope he fixed my car, because I am going to need something to run myself over with later today.