I Just Want to Be Alone

Have you read the book I Just Want to Be Alone yet?  Do yourself a favour and buy it right away.  And promptly find yourself a good closet/bathroom/panic room to hide yourself in so that you can read it.  Because nothing seems to draw the family around me like a swarm of flies like a book and a cup of coffee.  Now a book with a title indicating that I want some time to myself is guaranteed to attract some attention.  You may want to put a decoy book jacket on it along the lines of Remodelling the Yard in 8,000 Easy Do-It-Yourself Steps or At-Home Couples Counselling – that will guarantee a wide berth around your reading chair by at least your husband.  In fact I am terribly behind on writing about this hilarious book due in part to kids with stomach flu, endless doctor appointments, chores, etc….but also because I COULD NOT get Nerdguy to stop talking long enough for me to write anything.  How’s that for irony?  Actually I don’t know.  Alanis has forever messed me up on that one.  A book about getting five minutes of peace away from our husbands, and I can’t find anywhere to hide for long enough to write a review.

As my regular readers know, Nerdguy and I both work from home.  What you may not know is that he is the chatty one in this partnership.  My friends all complain that their husbands don’t talk and it’s hard to get them to open up.  So I count my blessings that he enjoys discussing things, but sometimes I need to get things done.  We are planning to apply for a service dog for Maggie, and I was teasing Nerdguy that he can bounce his ideas off the dog while she is at school.  I think we both know that I wasn’t kidding.

The ladies who wrote the book are just like me (if we aren’t counting the fact that they are actual published writers, with more followers than just their sketchy mailman – but other than that we are like clones) in that they love their husbands dearly, but on occasion they love them even more when they leave them alone to watch Covert Affairs.

Two of my very favourite BLUNTmoms, Lynn Morrison of The Nomad Mom Diary and Magnolia Ripkin, each wrote a chapter of the book, and I am SO proud of them.  I also will not be able to look Lynn’s husband in the eye.  Of course, given his choice of swimwear, I’m not sure that’s where he is hoping we will look anyway.  Magnolia gives some sage advice, as she always does, that you are going to want to highlight the hell out of for that friend of yours that is just contemplating that march down the aisle.  Leave it anonymously on her doorstep if you don’t do cold-hard truth as well as Magnolia does, and are more of a non-confrontational chicken like me.  In the meantime I will be raising bail money for the next time Lynn’s husband asks her if she has gained any weight.  You can do a Kickstarter for legal fees right?

Thanks to Alison Hart of Motherhood, WTF? I now have a new diagnosis for Nerdguy – Insane While Sleeping.  Boy have I got some stories for you!  Maybe our husbands can form a support group.  That meets strictly during daylight hours.

Karen Alpert of Baby Sideburns and her story about the first time her husband met her mother made me laugh, and I can’t believe that he was able to keep that story in for so long without telling her!  Especially since, as you will read, he had some difficulties keeping things in that night.

I am promptly drawing up a quick “no bee-keeping” contract for Nerdguy to sign, thanks to the heads-up from Meredith Spidel of The Mom of the Year, as I could easily see that being one of his future endeavours.  It makes the electronics experiments on my dining table look like child’s play.

(Nerdguy is back and asking me to advise him on an email.  Do you see what I’m dealing with here?)

Andrea C. of The Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess is hilarious and should never be trusted with your priceless collectables.

Those are just a few of the many stories I enjoyed reading from some of my favourite writers.  I Just Want to Be Alone is the follow-up book to the also hilarious I Just Want to Pee Alone.  Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat is not only hilarious herself, but she knows how to organize a large group of talented women and get a book published.  Although I suppose stationery with that on the title tends to get people mobilized, doesn’t it?

Disclaimer: I was provided with an electronic copy of this book for the purpose of writing a review. And I am crazy with jealousy that I am not in the book.  There.  It’s all on the table.