Maddy came out of school today, much the way I fantasize about leaving Indigo…with a bag full of shit I love, that I have no intention of giving back. One of her teachers was so sweet to have brought in a cool crocheted Lalaloopsy for Maddy, and the plan is that it is to stay at school, for her to enjoy a break times. I thought that sounded great.
Maddy would rather eat a carrot than go along with that.
I guess she had a hard time transitioning out of the class without it, and one of the teachers and I agreed that it would be best if she took it back inside the classroom once Maddy and her own belongings were already outside.
Maddy thought that plan was also rubbish.
She began yelling, “Mittens Fluff & Stuff!!!!” which is the name of the character, and not an elaborate curse word. Although I might adopt that phrase before she picks up on my straightforward F-bombs.
Maddy’s routine after school is to walk back and forth along the stepping stones in the garden while we wait for her sisters to come out. The lifeskill classes get out a few minutes early to board the busses, so this area can get congested while we are waiting. That’s normally fine, and it’s some nice casual time to spend with her classmates, except today it was hard to catch up to her from one end of the path to the other as she began spinning into a meltdown. And when she has a meltdown out of frustration, she often grabs whatever unsuspecting person happens to be standing closest.
And today that person was a boy very curious about her behaviour who was announcing that Maddy was having a meltdown. I can tell when she’s going to go in for a “big hug” and I seem to have developed the reflexes of a cat. Or like Melania when Donald Trump tries to grab her hand. I got to her in time and whisked her off to the van. Trailed by a little voice asking me if I am her mom, and reporting that she’s having a temper tantrum. Yes she is, buddy, yes she is.
I spent some time talking to her about how Mittens will be waiting at school for her in the morning, and she can give her a big hug, and thank her for taking care of the classroom all night. Her teachers and I chatted briefly about how it is a good lesson for her to learn and practice, leaving things behind, so we’re going to keep it there still, but I love how flexible and caring her teachers are. They are very considerate of my opinions and input, but at the same time I’m not having to invent the wheel or have all the answers. They didn’t want to make for a difficult evening for Maddy or for me.
Maddy settled down quite quickly. And then she moved in for the kill.
“Sour cream & onion chips. Ruffles.”
The next time I have to make a major purchase…like enough toilet paper for a family of five…I’m bringing her as my negotiator. I got played. I’m beginning to suspect she didn’t even want to bring home the lalaloopsy.
I agreed. I am stupid.
She ran around Shopper’s Drug Mart like a contestant on that gameshow where you have 30-seconds to fill your shopping cart with random meat and a lifetime supply of pudding.
Meanwhile I was trying to figure out what mystery item to buy for dinner. I knew that everything I thought about making tonight, when I was at home, I was missing at least one ingredient for. Like eggs, pasta sauce, cheese, sour cream, etc. But I couldn’t remember what meal I could make with what I had at home and what I needed to buy at the store to go with it. It normally wouldn’t be that hard, but I was trying to limit my purchase to the cash I had in my purse, because money is tight this week until pay day.
My ADHD meds had given up, much like Sadness from Inside Out, and everytime I tried to think clearly Maddy was either taking off or slipping something else into my handbasket. You know…the one I was riding to hell in.
I was trying to do math and meal planning, while processing Melanie’s suggestions, and of course load my friggin coupons because GOD FORBID those load automatically!!! Their points system is called “Optimum” but I really think “Opioid” would be more appropriate, as it is definitely going to cause me to turn to street drugs at some point soon.
The highlight was when Maddy tried on a hat in the Halloween aisle…I’m pretty sure they don’t even sell those hats there. I sure hope there’s a bloody coupon for lice shampoo! Nice play Shopper’s Drug Mart.
Lizzie saw that “my ice cream” was on sale, and told me that I deserve it. I decided she was right. And that she should never be anyone’s sponsor.
At some point I had a bit of a freak out and snapped at one or more of my children. And then I almost knocked the local yoga mom into downward dog, who was standing in the same aisle and probably heard the whole thing.
Math was eluding me. I put my ice cream back. Had a tantrum inside my head.
We went home. I tried to move forward after briefly freaking out on my husband about the finances. I deserved ice cream dammit! And I had to leave it behind!
I decided to take the broken indoor trampoline apart so that we could bring in the couch that I stole from my friend’s curb.
I’m evaluating my life right now, and I definitely think I watched too many sitcoms as a kid and accidentally became Roseanne Barr. #lifegoalfail
I got two of the legs off, but the others wouldn’t turn at all. I tried my oven mitts with the silicon grips, and they wouldn’t work either. This, like so many things in life, was defeating me.
I wasn’t strong enough.
I’m not strong enough.
And if the boy from school were narrating this story, this is where he would tell you, “She’s having a temper tantrum.”