Back to School. Eventually.

School starts tomorrow for my kids. On a Wednesday. At first I was convinced that the theatre camp Molly attended in the summer was backfiring in a big way and had made my truthful tween into a con-artist, even if a somewhat unconvincing one. I mean if you’re going to start lying, at least start with something more believable and less easily discredited by a single click on a website.

When I saw that the school seemed to be in on the con, indicated by the fraudulent information posted both on their website and the large sign out front, I still wasn’t sure if my kids could be responsible for that as well.

One more day before we can take the official BTS photo before locking the door behind them!

I mean Molly has taught her instructors at computer camp a few tricks every time she has attended, so hacking the school website seemed like the next logical step.

Grace established herself as an expert pickpocket at the tender age of three, when she would steal my keys from my pocket while I spoke to her daycare teachers about her day. If she had been taller, I am sure I would have had to cab it home.

And Maggie has a long history of rearranging her visual schedule at school to add in extra iPad time and conveniently lose the bin-work picture. It’s only a matter of time before she figures out Boardmaker and adds in Lalaloopsy Shopping and Olympic Chip Eating to her schedule.

While I have no trouble believing that my children are more than capable of pulling off an extra vacation day con, it does seem that it is legit and they really are not going back to school until Wednesday.

As acceptance of its truth set in, so did blinding rage. Even prisoners don’t have their sentence increased when they are in the home stretch. Is my sanity now worth less than that of a murderer? Of course in the early days of learning of this scheduling injustice I was probably more dangerous than a hardened criminal, but still, what the hell?

But this was at the beginning of the summer, when I was nervous about how it would play out…with little money for entertainment and a child who was miserable in camp the previous summer. Luckily it turned out to be an amazing summer. We found little pockets of money here and there, as well as lots of low-budget things to keep us busy. Maggie thrived in camp with some extra assistance and ditching her meds for the summer.

My bowling-induced concussion even turned out to be a blessing. Ok, not a blessing per se, but it did have some upsides. I was forced to take it easy, my family learned some lifeskills, and the kids are now so afraid of family recreational activities, because they end in a CT scan instead of ice cream, so they were grateful to stay home. We spent a lot of quality time hanging out together and enjoying each other’s company. (When I wasn’t shushing everyone and hiding under a dark blanket.) I have an awareness that these days are fleeting now that we have two tweens and an almost-teen. An extra day of summer is fine by me. Molly is playing dolls with Maggie voluntarily right now, and I’m in no hurry to replace that with homework and rushing from one place to another.

A cushion day between the holiday and the first day of school never hurts either for an ADHD family. The kids are all packed up for school, and of course there are a couple of things we missed in our shopping. Yes, we could easily wait until later in the week, but we’re all tired in the evenings, especially that first week back. I’d rather just get it done.

Not to mention that everyone ate the back-to-school lunch contents before I could adequately hide them. An extra day saves the embarrassment of sending them with a can of tuna and crackers stolen from the buffet place.

I try not to do that until April, when the teachers are avoiding eye contact with me by then anyway.

If you’re jealous because your kids already went back, send me your address. I’m sure by lunchtime I’ll be eating my words and looking for somewhere quiet to hide until tomorrow, and the YouTube instructions on how to build a panic room look too time-intensive.