Backdated Resolutions

January is over.

You know what’s totally awesome about that?

I took so long to write down my resolutions for the year, that I don’t even have to admit to the ones I have already failed miserably at. Eat clean, don’t procrastinate, get more sleep, have more patience, exercise every day…blah blah freaking blah…

I’m just going to pretend that I was never going to work on those areas of my life. Backdated resolutions. Finally, my accounting training is paying off! (You can’t prove anything!)

My real resolutions were:

  1. Watch Netflix with the same intensity and devotion that I use for spying on my neighbours and dodging phone calls.
  2. Stress-eat Costco-sized bags of cheesies and pails of ice cream.
  3. Start doing jigsaw puzzles “to relax” but be such a control freak that I don’t want my kids to help and “do the good parts” so I sit up until the middle of the night piecing together snowman pictures. And eating the good chocolate.
  4. Leave the dishes to the morning because our dishwasher broke and clearly I’ll have more energy at 6 am and spring out of bed. It’s not procrastinating. It’s just good time management.
  5. Use all the swear words in the morning because the kitchen is a mess, I’ve had four hours of sleep, and I have a chocolate hangover. See other moms running after drop-off. Go home and watch Netflix while cleaning up the kitchen while wearing running clothes and feeling moderately winded.

I’m extremely proud to announce that I have been going above and beyond on these resolutions this month. Thank you for believing in me. It really made all the difference.

snowman puzzle

Our first puzzle of the year came with two duplicate pieces. Proving that a Wilson can’t assemble anything without having parts left over. I think the puzzle maker was distracted by the squirrel in the picture.

How are your resolutions coming along? And don’t beat yourself up trying to compare your stamina, willpower, and good choices with mine. I’m here to inspire and motivate, not to shame.

Just in case you don’t feel fully motivated by my impressive ability to leap tall (Lego) buildings, Netflix has put together some titles that you may find slightly more inspiring. Although I am pretty tough competition.

netflix inspiring tales

One resolution that I actually have been keeping, that doesn’t involve processed foods or drooling into a puzzle at 2 am, is to get the house and myself more organized. I’ve been tackling the cleaning and organization tasks that have been long-neglected, and attempting to cook more meals in an effort to save money. I’m filing and dealing with dreaded paperwork. Netflix has been hugely motivating to keep me on track with doing these jobs. They seem much less tedious when I have an excuse to binge-watch a series or watch an old favourite movie.

I’m tired of the clutter and the chaos. It’s a new year. Time for a new view.

Disclosure: I am a member of the Netflix StreamTeam and receive some pretty cool stuff for doing what my family does best — watch Netflix. Guidance Counsellor fail once again. Not once did she ever mention this as an option!


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