How Date Night Changes when You’re Old

This is what we did Saturday night…

Nerdguy and I are headed out on a date tonight. Dinner and a movie. Simple. Except that I’m really not sure how we plan to accomplish this since neither of us knows how to stay awake without direct supervision and/or hospital-grade pharmaceuticals.

Well, that’s not exactly true…I am on the verge of a nap virtually all day, until 10pm when the large urn of coffee that I drink in the course of a day finally kicks into high gear. Thanks for showing up caffeine. Where were you when I had an article to write or it was time to make dinner? Jerk.

Nerdguy used to be an even worse night-owl than I am. It was not unusual to wake up at 3am and find him still up working. He’s been insisting that he is a morning person since the day I met him, however beginning his homework at 11pm and sleeping until well past the end of his 8:30 classes told a different story. I have never been a morning person, and yet for years I have been the one responsible for dragging my own butt out of bed (after an hour-long snooze button waltz) and then dragging three sleepy kids and a comatose husband out of their slumbers.

I called bull-shit on his morning person declaration.

Until this year. When he became annoyingly chipper. He wakes up WITHOUT AN ALARM every day at 5am. Except for the days that he wakes at 4am and makes himself go back to sleep. He gets up, works, eats breakfast and wakes the kids. He even makes me a coffee in the morning. And he doesn’t even drink coffee anymore!

Although putting a coffee in my hand may be just for his own safety…akin to throwing a raw steak into the lion cage to keep him from destroying the zookeeper. My roommates at BlogHer learned the hard way about the two hour buffer zone during which it is dangerous to speak to me in the morning.

Who is this man? Alert and productive without coffee? But he does have stimulants. I am still not properly medicated, and I’m clinging furiously to my coffee habit. I’m quite sure I would be in a coma without it.

But all this morning person business does come at a price.

He has the same bedtime as a ten year old.

So we are seeing a 7pm movie. I have been yawning all day despite mainlining coffee. And he loses the ability to form sentences once his ADHD meds wear off. Oh, and I snore.

So basically, don’t sit near us if you’re also going to the early show.

Oh, and it’s Earth Hour tonight, so at least if they turn the movie off at 8:30 we won’t notice. Maybe not even if there’s rioting. I can sleep through anything.

After the movie we have plans to eat dinner. Who do we think we are?!? We can’t eat late at night anymore…would it be uncultured to order warm milk instead of wine? And do you think they could swap tums for the after-dinner mints?

Sigh…when did we become 90 years old? It’s only a matter of time before we begin refusing to drive after dark, and have to run our steak through the Vitamix in order to digest it. As the kids become teenagers we are still going to have to hire babysitters…not to watch the kids while we are out, but to wait up for the kids while we sleep. When did we get so lame?

These were taken when we went out for lunch for our anniversary, and we barely look awake there...imagine how tired we look dining at 9pm!

These were taken when we went out for lunch for our anniversary, and we barely look awake there…imagine how tired we look dining at 9pm!

Update – Nerdguy and I went out on our date, stayed awake through the whole movie, and managed to eat a meal off the grown-up menu afterward. Only three extra-strength tums required after. And we stayed out until 10:30pm. Who’s old now? Oh right…still us.


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