Even the Pylons Were Worried

Nerdguy always says that I would do well in a career in disaster management.  I don’t think that he means that I can clean up a disaster or direct other people to do so.  He’s seen me screaming and rocking in a corner when even one wasp gets in our house afterall.  What he means is that I am awesome at coming up with a ridiculously long comprehensive list of all the things that could (and likely will – YOU’LL see!) go wrong in any situation.  He says it like it’s a compliment – he’s an optimist to the core, and he says that the world needs people like me to balance out the people like him.  But I also know that I can be a real drag to be around when this part of me takes over.  Even I don’t want to listen to myself.  But this personality trait is also what allows me to have that extra change of clothes handy when a kid dumps their entire slushie down the front of herself, or to buy ice cream before we run out of it.  Crisis averted!

What I need to be careful of is making sure that the ability to see trouble before it starts doesn’t prevent me from doing fun things.  While I was at BlogHer this summer I was given the opportunity to drive a BMW.  The other bloggers were chomping at the bit to get there, completely excited to drive the high-performance cars.  I was too, but I was also terrified that I would crash the car, drive the wrong way on the course, or drive it like a grandma on her way to church.  I almost hid in the trunk – hey, what’s in there…is that the spare?  I’ll just climb on in here and make sure that’s working okay…SLAM!  But luckily I packed my big girl granny panties for California (I think granny panties might be illegal there) I was brave and gave it a try.

First we broke into groups and had the opportunity to drive a car with a flat tire.  I thought maybe it was just to keep some of my lead foot BLUNTmoms friends under control by slowing them down a bit.  Or some kind of BlogHer hazing ritual, and I was going to be on the hook to buy new rims for this car.  But it was actually so that we could try out the new Bridgestone DriveGuard tires.  You know how you usually get a flat tire at the absolute worst time, like when you are driving alone at night,  in heavy traffic, or right before school pick-up time?  With regular tires you have to stop what you’re doing, say ALL the swear words, and lie down on the curb screaming “WHY MEEEE???”  Or if you’re not a disaster like me, put the donut on.  Well the last flat that I had, even the auto-service dude couldn’t get my spare down from the bottom of the van, so I needed a tow.  Total pain. With DriveGuard tires you can drive 50 miles at up to 50 miles per hour before you get it changed.  Plenty of time to get to the mechanic safely, and swing by for a latte and a new pair of shoes – it’s perfectly okay to tell your husband that you ruined your other shoes changing the flat at the side of the highway.

Personally, I am always worried that I will have a flat when I have the kids in the car.  Especially when the kids were little – I don’t think 3 car seats are going in a tow truck!  And when Maggie is out of the car I have to be holding her hand so she’s not running in traffic – kind of hard to do that and change a tire at the same time.  So having tires that I don’t need to worry about works well with my disaster planning.  One less thing to worry about.

But was it too good to be true?

I was amazed at how smooth it was to drive on.  I’ve had flats before, and there is no question when you have one.  I really don’t think I would have noticed on this car if it weren’t for the indicator light on the dash.

Have you seen the commercial with Julie Bowen from Modern Family?  Hilarious.

After that we got some great car care tips from Amber Delp from Firestone Complete Auto Care.  I learned that the tire pressure is written on the inside of the door frame on a sticker that I never noticed before, and how to use a pressure gauge.  And a neat trick for checking if your tire tread is worn out.  Take an American penny.  Because good luck finding a penny in Canada, and they don’t have Lincoln on them.  Stick the penny head-first into the tire tread, and if you can still see the whole head, your tires are worn and need replacing.

Finally we got to get in the BMWs.  First the instructors drove us around the course “to show us what the cars could do.”  That’s code for “let’s see what a rosary and lamaze breathing can do to keep you from passing out.”  It was terrifying and incredible at once.

photo 1 (5)

Bob is an awesome driver, and also a great teacher as it turns out, because then he coached us on how to drive the course.  He didn’t yell at me like my mother or spend the time talking about personal problems like my driving instructor.  He said I did a great job, so SUCK IT person who honked at me the other day!

bridgestone driveguard

I rode in the same car with Deva Dalporto from My Life Suckers.  I got a tad starstruck, and I am sure that she was looking for the panic button.

bridgestone driveguard

Exhibit A in Deva’s restraining order. I don’t always stare at bloggers, but when I do, I make sure there’s a professional photographer there documenting it all.

Here’s a pro tip – when you meet someone and you gush on about how you love them, perhaps pronounce their name correctly.  She was a good sport about it though and shot this video for me.  It may have been intended for part of the restraining order, but that’s okay.  My only disappointment was that she didn’t sing Let it Go while I drove.  She probably just couldn’t think of anything to rhyme with “We’re all going to die!”

Thanks BridgeStone for the fun day!

Bridestone DriveGuard at Blogher14


    • Tara says

      I didn’t realize how long it had been since I drove anything but a minivan. We used to have a sunfire, and anytime I drove that after driving the van I felt like I was in a gokart I was so low. I had to enjoy this while I could though because Nerdguy told me not to get used to driving a BMW. Spoilsport.

  1. says

    Ha ha ha!!! Love it!!! That was one crazy event. I seriously thought we were going to die. I was happy to have you by my side as I screamed bloody murder. (And PS – no one knows how to say my name so you’re not alone!)

    • Tara says

      Thank Deva – it was awesome hanging out with you – and NOT dying! And most people say my name wrong too, so we can be in that club together 🙂

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