My Curb May Be TOO Appealing

I do this thing where I invite people over, either for social occasions or as a meeting location.  And then I want to fake my death to get out of it.  I have delusional expectations that I might possibly be able to get my shit together enough to have a reasonably clean house.  Or that having a deadline will “motivate” me.

I am an ass.

Last night I was having a committee meeting here.  It’s the only way that I can attend the meeting because Nerdguy has his own commitment on Thursday nights.  And until the nanny cam is validated as an approved caregiver, I can’t leave the house.

So I am scrambling around yesterday, as one does when they live with 4 messy people.  Can’t clean ahead of time or it will be all undone right?

Also, there is my ADHD.  We all know I have it.  Nerdguy too.  We just can’t get ourselves organized enough to make it official.  Who can make appointments or fill out paperwork when those are the exact things we struggle with in the first place???

This is what leads to sorting through paperwork instead of cleaning the bathroom.  I felt a sudden pressing need to go through the kids’ schoolwork.

From last year.

Papers everywhere.


I posted this on facebook during one of my desperate moments, when I was slacking completely focused on the task at hand:

“I’m having a committee meeting here tonight and the place is a disaster. Options are 1. Cancel the meeting. 2. Turn off all the lights and hide when they come to the door. 3. Burn the house down. 4. If I’m feeling particularly drastic…get off my ass and clean.

I’ll get the matches…”

By the way, if you don’t already like me on Facebook, you totally should.  Medical teams put together entire costly studies to see unedited streams of consciousness like that, and you my friends get to witness it for free.    And I will pay you.  In smiles.  Or garden snails.

Somehow, I pulled myself together, and got the hall, living room, dining room, and in a last-minute Hail Mary pass (there…now this is a sporting blog…Nike should be sponsoring me any second now) I even managed to get the powder room cleaned.


As I was letting them out the front door after a successful meeting I saw this:

Please let this be actual grass.

A bag of grass.  On my porch.  Where we were having the PTA meeting.  Well played Universe.  Well played.  Now they’ll want to have all the meetings here.


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