The Dog Ate My Homework

I guess I should get a dog, if this is going to be believable.

Wow, this blog has been very neglected this month.  This is for 2 reasons.  The first one is a happy reason involving the usual scrambling around to prepare for Christmas, and feeling like I don’t have a second to do anything that doesn’t involve shopping, wrapping, or eating baking.  Every year I swear up and down that I will be ready ahead of time.  Every year I am less prepared than the year before.  You see, I like to set a goal, work hard, and…fail miserably.  I’m sure there must be a Christmas Carol in there somewhere.  Maybe from the Charlie Brown soundtrack.

The second reason is a sadder one.  The family-member who has been struggling this year made a fourth suicide attempt on December 6th.  I haven’t been able to bring myself to write anything since then.  It’s all gotten much more complicated this time, so I haven’t trusted myself to sit and write anything.  I’m such an open book, but this isn’t my book to share I don’t think.  Nothing I say or type these days is even coherent.  I am struggling this time.  It’s hard to breathe.  I think it is even worse now that Christmas is over and I have more time to think.

Thank God for my amazing husband.  I can’t even form adequate words to describe the dependable rock that he has been through all of this.  And friends & extended family who have surrounded us with love, prayers, and good thoughts.  My village is plentiful.  And wonderful.  And so very much appreciated.

I’m not even sure why I am writing this tonight.  Other than that I have missed writing, and I feel like if I don’t start again, writing is too easy to let slip away in the busyness of everyday life.  So I had to start somewhere. And here is as good a place as any.