I guess I should get a dog, if this is going to be believable.
Wow, this blog has been very neglected this month. This is for 2 reasons. The first one is a happy reason involving the usual scrambling around to prepare for Christmas, and feeling like I don’t have a second to do anything that doesn’t involve shopping, wrapping, or
eating baking. Every year I swear up and down that I will be ready ahead of time. Every year I am less prepared than the year before. You see, I like to set a goal, work hard, and…fail miserably. I’m sure there must be a Christmas Carol in there somewhere. Maybe from the Charlie Brown soundtrack.
The second reason is a sadder one. The family-member who has been struggling this year made a fourth suicide attempt on December 6th. I haven’t been able to bring myself to write anything since then. It’s all gotten much more complicated this time, so I haven’t trusted myself to sit and write anything. I’m such an open book, but this isn’t my book to share I don’t think. Nothing I say or type these days is even coherent. I am struggling this time. It’s hard to breathe. I think it is even worse now that Christmas is over and I have more time to think.
Thank God for my amazing husband. I can’t even form adequate words to describe the dependable rock that he has been through all of this. And friends & extended family who have surrounded us with love, prayers, and good thoughts. My village is plentiful. And wonderful. And so very much appreciated.
I’m not even sure why I am writing this tonight. Other than that I have missed writing, and I feel like if I don’t start again, writing is too easy to let slip away in the busyness of everyday life. So I had to start somewhere. And here is as good a place as any.