Worse than White After Labour Day

Things are getting festive up in this place.

And by ‘festive’ I mean ‘weird.’

Nerdguy and I accidentally dressed the same today.  Jeans and red T-shirts.  If we had actually gone anywhere together other than the mechanic, and taken our coats off, I’m sure that people would be handing us their gifts to wrap, assuming that we were the festively-attired in-store gift wrappers.  Or they may have encouraged us to hang in there while we wait for Target to open…assuming that we were the lost souls of Zellers.

I made the mistake of wearing a red hoodie into Zellers one time, and had 3 separate shoppers ask me for assistance.

I was carrying a purse.

And a 2 year old.

I hate dressing like the people that I am out with.  It’s a delicate balance between dressing similarly so as to feel comfortable with one’s clothing choices, but not so similar that it looks like you are part of a team sport.

Or the Mandrell Sisters.

Waaaayyyy back when I was in high school, my 2 best friends and I all had red jeans.  It was shortly after the homemade skinny jeans phase, where everyone would put enough safety pins to supply a small dry cleaner for a year along the seams of their pants to taper them in like riding pants.  I’m not sure if that was the reason for red jeans being the next style, but it does seem kind of logical that it would follow the one-hundred-sharp-objects-in-your-pants phase.  Of course it is entirely possible that red jeans were not even in style, and we just got a deal on them while we were out shopping for cross-stitching supplies.  No, we weren’t total losers.  Cross-stitching was cool back then.

Maybe don’t look that up.

Here they are…the famous red jeans circa 1993.  Although the macramé plant holder is the real standout in this picture.

One night we all wore the red jeans.  At the same time.  I wanted to die.  Or change.  They thought it was hilarious and refused to change.  I should have left them at  Michael’s the bar.  They still tease me about it.

Don’t they know that there are so many more things to tease me about?  Like my face?

Do you see that giant, angry, horrifying beast on my face?  No, not my nose.  Under that.  I’m old enough to remember safety pinned pants and macramé.  This shouldn’t be happening.  I’m thinking that I will just wear my hair up like antlers, and say that I’m Rudolf.  Festive right?  The good news is that it matches the shirt I wore today.  Maybe I can dig up my red jeans!

To complete my day of feeling stylish, I received some comments from Maggie, while I was giving her a bath.  “Mommy Beluga Whale.”  I might just have to let Santa know about that, seeing as how I’m the head of the dude’s navigation team and all.  Coal for her.  Spanx and extra wine for me.  And no red jeans.  I think the jolly fat man has red pants covered, and you know how I hate to match.


Comments

  1. says

    I needed the Mandrell Sisters and a macrame plant holder in my life today!! Thanks for the laughs… and the walk down memory lane.

    You should be happy that the couch was not covered in plastic… saving it for “good guests”.

  2. says

    Hahaha! I’m still glued to the macrame plant holder! I believe we had the matching one at our house. No red jeans for me, though you wore them well. 🙂

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