Do You Hear that Ticking Sound?

Nerdguy and I really thought that we were ahead of the game with this whole time change thing.  The kids were ASLEEP by 7:30 new time last night.  Do you get that?  Take a moment for that to sink in.  ASLEEP.  We are usually still deep in the trenches of bedtime prep at that hour, no matter what time we start getting them ready, so we are thrilled just to have them in bed by that time…but if they are asleep at that hour it can only mean one of two things:

  • ‘I’m asleep early, which means I will feel completely entitled to have a party in my room at 3am, and will be outraged when you try to tell me that it is still the middle of the night.  I will make you pay.’  Or the alternate, but even less fun ‘I will wake up between 10 and 11pm, find the house lit up like a Christmas tree, and you watching TV while eating the chips that we were “out of,” so your story about it being the middle of the night will lose all credibility.  We will watch Max and Ruby.  I will eat the rest of the chips.  And you will sob, while curled into a ball, and dreaming about rabbits in a stew pot.’
  • ‘Get the buckets and Gatorade gathered because I have a full night of vomiting planned.  And if all 3 of us are asleep…that’s right…3 simultaneously sick kids.  And I know that you are too smart to miss picking up on the fact that if 3 kids are sick all at once…the parents are not escaping this either.  Better spend your extra free time this evening catching up on the laundry, because you’ll want to have a clear path to the machine for the endless bed stripping that you have ahead of you.’

Then there is the favourite scenario of in-bed-early-but-take-11-billion-years-to-fall-asleep.  Which I can’t even discuss without liquor being involved.  And I quite pull off the glamour of Mad Men day drinking, so that topic will have to wait until after dark.

All was good last night.  We watched a movie while eating secret chips and Halloween candy reserves.  No one vomited.  They all stayed asleep.  We were golden.
The plan was to wake them up 20 minutes ahead of when we usually do.  We would strike while the iron was hot.  If the government is going to screw with their internal body clocks, then we were at least going to get some advantage from it.  It’s like taxes.  They take all of our money, and we get a pot-hole-filled road to drive on.  They take more of our money, and we get a year long wait for medical treatment.  In this case, they give back our hour from the Spring (without any interest by the way…don’t think that has gone unnoticed), and we all get to school on time without Mommy and Daddy’s heads exploding.
Sounds like a nice plan.
This is what was sitting at our breakfast table after 30 minutes of begging Maggie to get out of bed:
Molly came to the table a full 40 minutes later than that.  So we were half an hour behind our usual schedule. Where did the extra hour go?
I have decided that in the Spring I will not be changing the clocks.  
I will be smashing them with a sledgehammer.


  1. Anonymous says

    Haha, I have done that before, with the buckets…. But they are never, ever sick when you think that they might be. What is the fun in it if there is no element of surprise ?

    • says

      Yay! I love new followers…thank you for joining in on the fun! How did you find me? If it was a government list, give me a headstart and a gym bag full of cash. Oh, and I broke my watch trying to turn the time back, so I’ll need one of those too.

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