|Isn’t my van unique? Super easy to find in parking lots. The only thing unique about it is the perpetual odour from the inside, and the conversations heard from the back seat.|
I was driving the girls to baseball this weekend and I heard a round of “Would you rather” break out from the back seat. This is a partial transcript.
Grace: Would you rather climb a retirement home or a condo?
Molly: How big of a retirement home? If it’s a retirement home like Aunt Del’s and a condo like Grandma’s, then a retirement home for sure. Grandma’s condo is huge!
M: Would you rather have your own car or a pet hamster?
G: A hamster!
M: Me too!
Archiving this entry for when they are 16 and I present them with their very own hamster!
G: Would you rather have a pet sock or a pet shoe?
M: Socks are smelly. And I would have to wash it. A shoe. Oh but shoes can be smelly too. A NEW sock! That’s what I would have as a pet.
G: Would you rather eat a tree or eat a plant? Not sure what she thinks those things we call vegetables are…but apparently they are dare-worthy.
M: A tree because our planet is precious and I don’t want to eat all those people! If she went the other way with that answer, I probably wouldn’t be writing today because I would be too busy at Home Depot buying locks and security cameras. And replacing our cutlery with ones made of Nerf material.
Another lesson learned from this is that I should have ordered OnStar for our Venture because I know there were other gripping dilemmas that I just can’t remember. Making a transcript of the kids’ conversations is part of the service right?
“You getting this Susie?”
“Don’t call me Ma’am.”
“Call me Queen Esmeralda.”
“Yes Queen Esmirelephant.”
“COME ON SUSIE!!”
“I’ll send the transcript to your car.”
“Send it to my blog.”
I’m pretty sure that General Motors will be cancelling the OnStar program after reading this.
I have in no way been asked to write about my Chevy Venture or the OnStar feature that I don’t have. In fact I am going to watch the mail for legal documents ordering a cease and desist on even admitting that they ever sold one to me.