Hiding Under a Rock

This has been a very long and exhausting 9 days. We’ve been in crisis mode dealing with a health situation of a family member. I’ve had to keep myself off the Internet because I tend to be an oversharer. Especially when I’m stressed. And I also tend to think the Internet can fix everything.  Instead it usually just makes me think I have a fatal disease.

Instead of writing, I wore out google. And got nowhere.  Well except that I have a list of 6 things to ask my doctor about.  He loves it when I do this.

I made lots of phone calls.

What is this? 1989? Who makes phone calls? Maybe soon I will send a telegram.

I yelled. I cried. I paced. I listened. I cleaned. I worried.

I also learned.

I learned what an amazing support system I have.

My husband is my rock. I always knew that, but there’s nothing like a good reminder every so often.

I have awesome friends from all different stages of my life that care about me and go out of their way to check on me. I have generous, and caring kids. In fact, one of them even got an award at school for being kind. It was a very fitting week for Grace to get that recognition.

Unfortunately I also learned that the mental health system in Ontario is severely lacking. And that the quality of your nurse makes every difference in the world. And the good ones are stretched too thin to make up for the bad ones. And that when you have the good fortune to speak with a good one, you may burst into tears, and inappropriately hug her say thank you.

Things are much better now, and I am slowly feeling the stress fall away. I guess nerdguy and I still have some residual anxiety though. He was late coming home from a meeting tonight during a thunderstorm. A delivery truck pulled up in front of our house, blocking our driveway, and just sat there for a few minutes. I was sure the truck had an accident with nerdguy, and the driver was coming to tell me. Nerdguy arrived home while the truck was still there, and when he came around the corner he was sure it was a firetruck parked in front of the house.

We may be a little tense still. Perhaps.

Wait! Did you hear that?  I’d better go google it.


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