Floods, jailbreaks, and drool

As the school year comes to a close, it is time to reflect on what a great year it has been, and the many accomplishments of the children. It also is time to begin inducing nightmares in students through home-reading books. Each week Molly and Grace bring home one or two books to practice reading at home, and they are usually some generic story that I have trouble remembering.

This week Grace had a book called Twisters. She was excited to read about it, believing it to be about a dance style, candy, or hair style. The jazzy pink and purple title made it look like a fun book. Not one that recounts death tolls of history’s tornadoes.

The only redeeming feature of the book is that it had a map. Of the United States. Handy for a book for children in Canada. Tornado Alley was outlined on it. “See Grace! Tornadoes don’t happen in Canada. It’s right there on the map. That’s why our taxes are so high!” Okay so we know that’s not true, but you KNOW Stephen Harper would love to put that in a brochure.

While I recovered from Grace’s tale of terror, Nerdguy read Molly’s book with her. It was about a flood. And their lost pet cat. The child decided the cat must be dead. Spoiler alert…I know you’re all going to want to run out and track down this page turner, so I don’t want to ruin it for you but….the cat lives.

Stories about tornadoes and floods are reading on a day that the sky looks like this:

Beautiful day to play baseball.

Grace had her dance recital on Saturday, and she did a great job. She took hip hop this year, and I think they were supposed to be breaking out of jail.

Her teacher left suddenly during the year to “travel.” Does he have a side job teaching prisoners to dance their way out of the big house? Is there a large dude somewhere named Pitbull playing Grace’s part? Well I hope HE has an easier time applying the eye liner.

My own eye makeup looks like it was applied by a 6 year old. When I put eye liner, shadow and mascara on a 6 year old…it looks like she recruited a very shaky 2 year old to play beauty salon. Thank goodness she isn’t a company dancer…they wear false lashes…I would have her looking like a tarantula attacked her.

Finally…this is why we can’t have nice things:

That is where a yogurt tube box was left in something along the lines of rocketship glue on the kitchen counter. This is when I am actually happy that we still have the original 25 year old counter tops.

This is the ONLY time. The rest of the time I am over at Home Depot ruining their counter tops with my drool.


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